Listen to "Guido's Theme"
 
"Who be Guido?" I hear you ask.

"Why should I care?"I also hear you ask.

You have probably asked neither of these things.

I am Guido.

 Guido is one of the multitudinous subprograms and/or personae which float around in my psyche like snow in a souvenir paperweight.

Guido is my alter ego.
Guido is sleazy.
Guido has a moustache.
Guido wears shades.
Guido is some kind of non-descript swarthy character,
perhaps an Arab, perhaps Italian, perhaps Latino (which is actually half of my genetic heritage. mom was a Chicana. Dad was an Okie farmer with a German name.)

 

Historical Guido, Amsterdam, 1981

historical guido
Guido has eclectic tastes and he is amusing, or at least thinks so. Guido's full name is 'Guido D. Arezzo' a rather clever play on words based upon an Italian monk named "Guido d'Arezzo" from the Italian town of that name who is credited with having invented, or at least started to invent our system of musical notation.

guido-hears-a-who

*follow the link to learn more, gang!
A New Breed of Guido


guido pride
A Historical Note

Since the historical Guidozone was first posted online, way back in 1999, much has transpired in the world of Guido. A resurgence in Guido pride has occurred on the Guido homeworld of New Jersey thanks to an MTV reality show called "The Jersey Shore." I would be a  traitor to world swarthiness if I failed to note the kindred Guidos back in the old country, though they would probably find me old school. Instead, I will post some links so that you may explore their sublime Guidohood.
new guido
The new breed of Guido.
 

 

the interactive

 

Here are several delectable paragons of guidonian sleaze for your viewing pleasure. Once you have looked these hunks over, I invite you to MAKE UP A LITTLE STORY ABOUT ONE OF THEM and send it along to me. I will take any useable ideas and publish them in my long-awaited self-help and philosophy manual "The Tao of Swarthiness."

Jump in.

stavros

Stavros 

mustafa

Mustapha

Vlad

read some of them stories! click

cholo

Joselito

Pauli

 Salvatore

Fabrizzio

Fabrizzio

  pimp
 Wolf		 coti-bear.jpg (21742 bytes)

Costis

christophe

Christos

  jamal

Jamal

 mullet

 Earl		 hobo 
 Pauly
 

Roy		 prince

 Vinny		 carlbob

 Billy Bob


boxcarsHere comes the interactive bit. 

write me a story about one of these guys and send it along to me. 

 

Or just fill out and send this exciting form!

What is your name, please senor?

(Do not hit return)

What is your e-mail address?
(don't hit return here either)

 

Which of our hot hunks is your fave rave?

*note, press the little arrow thingy with your mouse and you will see your choices. sheesh! 

where do you think your fave is from?


what does he do for a living?

 
who is his ideal woman?


Now remembering your choices write me a little story about him and send it on along to me. I will review them and get back to you. I will then post them to my site.

that wasn't so bad, was  it?

 

  Read some of them stories now! click